Thursday, September 30, 2010

If, If, If

I want to play a game today. 

Well, it's not really a game but I'm drowning in schoolwork and want to be entertained. So, of course, I thought of you. (Cause you've  never let me down. Now you feel obligated to participate, don't you?)

We're going to play the IF game. Your if can be anything you want, I won't discriminate or hate on them. I will love each and every single one. Promise. 

I'll start.

If I were a stand-up comedian, I'd be in for a whole lot of awkward because I'd be the only one laughing.

If the voices in my head ever stop talking, I'd be very lonely. I'd also never finish my book (and I have enough problems with that already - family, why do you encourage post-secondary education?).

If I were a character in a novel, I'd be the villain. Everyone knows they have more fun. Until the hero gets lucky and kills them....

If I wrote books based on my dreams, instead of producing a bestseller like Twilight, I'd produce something as nonsensical as Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass (minus the hidden meaning and general awesomeness). Readers would think I took too many hallucinogenic drugs and in my stupor decided to write a novel.

Okay, your turn. Any if you can think of will do. Also, I promise I'll have a real post on Friday. 

I feel like I'm making you a lot of promises today. Oh well. 


  1. If I knew what "if" statement to post an hour ago, I wouldn't have spent that time checking out your older posts.

  2. If I had more time to write, I don't think I'd ever wash. OOOH! That's shocking! *slaps own hand*

  3. If I got all the nutrients I need in life from coffee and dr. pepper, I'd walk around with a sloshy belly and a smile! :)

    (your dreams sound super cool amazing sweet!)

  4. If I could get my works published, I wonder if I'd still enjoy being a writer...

  5. If I didn't get queasy at the sight of blood, I think I would like being a doctor. Well, if I could pass all those pre-med classes.

  6. If I had one finger that was a pen I would probably have ink all over my face as I would have lost the cap years ago.

    If I were ruler of the universe MTV reality "star's" wouldn't be allowed to publish novels.

  7. If I could finish every book idea that assaults me from the corners, I'd have my own, personal library.

    If I could live anywhere in the world it would be Ireland.

    If I had a superpower, I'd be able to speak my mind without any consequences.


    Love this post!

  8. If my head was not screwed on, I'd most likely lose it.

    If Ramona's could fly, I'd be one happy camper.

    If I was a disney character, it would be Bill from Alice in Wonderland.

    If money grew on trees, Id plant 239750398829384 of them.

    If I was very amused at the moment, Id be making up a bunch of these, which I am!

    If I was a disney Imagineer, Id make the greatest ride ever. A roller coaster for fantasia. Filled with twisting turns and crazy effects, and 3D screens!

    If I wasn't so caught up in writing these, Id go get some breakfast. Hmm, maybe I should go get some now..

    BTW, I love this game, make more please!

  9. If someone walked past me with a cheesecake right now, I'd steal it. :)


    If Jensen Ackles walked past me right now, I'd tackle him.

    Loved this post!

  10. If I wasn't 4'11" tall then the DMV might never have asked me if I wanted to get my Handicap sticker for being a technical midget when I got my license at 16 and then I wouldn't have thought of my life as stranger than fiction and may never have aspired to be a writer. Not to mention, if I were taller then my husband would be taller and then so would my children which would have made it so I wouldn't have to listen to my shorty 8-year-old daughter complain about being short every day. :)

  11. If the working week was only two days and the weekend Five i would get very bored and very poor

    If i Had a million bucks, i would give upi my job and travel the world for a year

    If i was in government i would make the stand that seen as the general public have to make their home improvements and holiday expences out of their monthly wage packet so should i and not claim it on expences for the tax payers to pay.... yes Mr ministers I paid for that fancy condo, and your new lawn, and that trip to hawiai and im not happy bout it!

    If i could be any one else for the day i would be all the best parts of me with out the bad parts i mean!

    Loved it!

  12. Awesome post! Here are my "ifs". (you asked for it!)

    If I looked like Kim Kardashian, I would look at myself naked all day and marvel at how perfect I am.

    If my real weight was within ten pounds of what my driver's lisence states, I would be a happy camper!

    If I won the lottery I would do nothing but travel, write and watch reality TV.

  13. If I stopped to think about what it is I'm actually trying to do with my writing...I'd never move again.

  14. If I were in a novel, I'd probably be the villain's best friend who just needs to realize their friend's the villain already. No, seriously, I've been told such things. I'd probably say, "No, really, they might be trying to take over the world, but they're love their cat, so how could they be evil?"

  15. If I wasn't on the phone for 45 minutes waiting for Shaw service, my local Internet provider, to deign me with their attention, I wouldn't have time to provide you with an IF statement. Thank-you, crappy Shaw service!

  16. If I don't get off the internet and stop reading blog posts my chapter will never get finished tonight!

    Fun post! ~That Rebel, Olivia

  17. If I had all the money my heart desired... I would be a real bad person.

    If I could change the world... would I?

    If talent and potential equaled success, there would be a lot more rich people out there.

    If I wrote the way I-think-I-do… my book would be sold already.

  18. If I had a maid and a cook and didn't have to work I'd be oh so very happy!

  19. If I could eat chocolate all day, every day without any consequences, I would.

  20. If I had it my way, I'd finish my book in one sitting! LOL! No, not possible. I love this post! Why don't you think this is not a real post? I enjoyed it! :)Have a beautiful Friday, Melissa :)

  21. If I wrote a story based on my dreams, I wouldn't be able to get the colors right . . . and my character would jump from place to place erratically . . . and the plot would remain unclear, ungrammatical, and possible unreadable. Oops, been there, and done that.

    If I believed that we didn't dream in color, my dreams would be really boring, or frightening in a Hitchcock film kind of way.

    If I had a clean house, I wouldn't be able to find anything.

    Umm, ok, you can tell I've run out of interesting ideas if I'm talking about cleaning.


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