Ambiguity

Picture this: you're reading a novel and are about halfway through, there's several characters talking and one of them references an event that - while not overtly important - happened during the time frame of the novel itself. The characters elaborate enough so you aren't sitting there scratching your head but they don't truly explain/show what happened.

What do you think? How do you feel?

I was talking to a friend the other day and we had a pretty in-depth discussion on ambiguity. It ended with me finally sorting out my emotions and thoughts on the matter. 

In short: I think it's a good thing.

My reasoning is this: if we are aware, as readers, that events are happening outside the scope of the novel that we're seeing it manipulates our subconscious impressions of these characters. How, you ask? We're being shown that we aren't necessary for these characters to exist. Their existence doesn't depend upon us reading the novel. They are more than what we see. 

This, in turn, makes them more real.

(As an aside: way too much ambiguity is bad! Just like anything else in writing, it's a fine line between an author doing this well and completely butchering it.)

How do you feel about ambiguity? Any other tricks you can think of to manipulate* your readers?

*Don't even pretend you don't want to manipulate your readers. You do. You want them to care about your characters. 

Nothing beats homemade

Just before Christmas last year my GG (Great Grandma) died. She was 99. When I was younger she used to make GG buns and Cinnamon buns. Her bread is what my childish mind associated her with. I didn't know her very well. To me, she made (delicious) buns and watched daytime Soaps.

This Christmas, I wanted to bring her to the family in some way so Grandma and I attempted to make GG buns (plain white buns). We succeeded and they were melt-in-your-mouth-utterly-fantastic. And I'm not even just saying that. Every one commented and when dessert, tantalizing and sinfully delicious as always was laid out, a lot of my family decided against that extra cookie or piece of trifle and had another bun instead. (Yeah, they transcend the whole dinner/dessert boundaries.)

The only downside to GG buns? The store bought stuff just doesn't cut it anymore. I used to LOVE the store bought buns (probably cause I hadn't had a GG bun since I was an early teen). Now, they taste bland and flavorless and....sort of empty.

It's a lot like reading.

There are books that are all kind of the same when it comes down to it. There's a uniformity to it all. Different authors and ideas but, really, not that different. You can love these books. Devour them one after another like you'll never read another book again. You get crazy excited when you see there's more for your pleasure.

And then you find it. The original, from scratch, novel that opens your eyes, makes you realize that you've been taking in a lot of emptiness that really didn't taste that good when you compare it to the freshness and flavor infested book you're now holding.

I have a challenge for you all this year.

Make sure your book is "homemade." It's harder. Your muscles will ache from getting out all the kinks, you'll beg to be finished but know you're not. You'll need help. But don't worry, there's a recipe still, there's still a way to get it done - you just have to put more of you into it.

Trust me, your hard work will pay off in the end.

Be Jolly By Golly

Christmas cookies and happy hearts, this is how the holiday starts!

Jen and I teamed up to create an awesome, candy cane infused, blog fest because we think all of you are fantastic and want to spread the holiday cheer. 

We bring to you:

Be Jolly By Golly

We want to know how you celebrate. 

Before you get your tinsel in a tangle, here are the rules:

1. Post your blog sometime on December 20th.

2. We want pictures of your decorations, holiday lights and Christmas tree.

3. Share your favorite holiday treat (Feel free to share the recipe so we can all share in the yummy).

4. Share your favorite holiday drink (Either alcoholic or non, share your recipe if you please - you're all going to want to drink mine so I'd like some options to steal too).

5. Don't forget to visit everyone else, share in the holiday spirit and spread the cheer. 

Basically, this blogfest is Christmas dinner with your blogger family, you don't want to miss out on the fun. Also, our badge is AWESOME. You should join just so you can nab it.

Please note: If you don't celebrate Christmas, we want you anyways. Share your holiday traditions with us, whatever they may be.

To segue into an entirely different topic without any warning, I have another announcement to make. 

Two years ago, mid November I started writing my book. I wrote like crazy and was two chapters away from finishing when my computer crashed. I lost everything.

After a while, I started writing again. I got about halfway through when I decided I was writing in the wrong tense. I started again. I got halfway through (again) before one of my characters decided he didn't like the way the plot/storyline was working out for him and he dramatically changed the sequence of events in the first book. (It's a trilogy.)

I started over.

I had a third of it done by the end of summer but school started and excuses piled up. As you know, my goal with NaNo was to finish my book. I gave NaNo 122% (according to how many words I wrote) and finished my first draft yesterday at noon.

I am so overwhelmed and happy (especially because I have crazy amazing family members like Cousin K and Little Sister who changed their Facebook statuses to celebrate with me).

How's your writing? Any accomplishments lately? Are you stoked on this blog fest or what??

Writerly skills and Writerly chills.

Mom and I went to the liquor store (because where else do you go on the weekend (I don't care that I sound like an alcoholic, I know I'm not. I just appreciate a good drink after a long week of writing.)) and the grocery store.

We go back to the car only to realize we parked in a Reserved parking space for Rogers (a video store) customers only.

Mom was all, it's a good thing no one noticed we didn't go in the store.

And I immediately replied, "It doesn't matter, I'm a Rogers customer twenty four seven. If they try and say otherwise, I'll show them my phone bill." (Rogers is also a phone company.)

Mom laughs, clearly amazed by my unstoppable wit and genius (and modesty).

"Don't even worry mom, I build worlds, I think I can find my way out of anything now."

Now, normally I'd segue into some helpful writing advice like: the tools we learn and use in our writing can be beneficially applied to our lives. Through journeying with our characters, we learn their lessons and in turn, become stronger characters ourselves.

But, I don't want to elaborate on that.

You see, I've been writing some pretty horrific stuff. It was brief but the taint of it lingers on my MC, saturates her as she goes into the final three chapters of my book. It's all a jumbled mess in her head.

Which means, unfortunately, it (I wish I could explain but it would ruin my book!) is haunting me as well. I feel sick and unsteady and like my world could crumble if I take one misstep.

I can't sleep because horrific events and scenes loop in my mind, unforgiving and terrifying.

And I need to know,

Do you ever write something that horrifies you? Something so terrible you can't believe you thought of it? Do you ever make yourself sick because of events in your book?

Maybe, when people read it, they won't react like I have. I don't expect them too. My characters are a part of me, they mean more to me then I can possibly express, and they gave me hope when I had none (that's another blog post entirely) and I have a hard time knowing that my subconscious is so cruel to them in return.

I'd like to think I'm not alone.

Hope NaNo (or your other endeavors) is going well for you guys. I'm done! Except not because November was less about winning NaNo and more about finishing my book. But I'm close to that too.

Support systems are crucial

I was telling Ramona about my characters (if you think I can think about anything besides my book when I'm writing this much a day, you are sorely mistaken).

I was speaking and I didn't think she was getting the point so I said, "They're real people, you know."

She replies, "I know."

I squeeze her knee, "Awe, I love you."

"Yeah, I don't even think your crazy for that." (Hearing voices in my head.) "Your crazy for other things."

Best friend status? Reaffirmed.

Writers need people who accept our psychotic tendencies. I am lucky enough to have an amazing family who support me in this crazy endeavor - going so far as to offer themselves as the crash test dummies for my novel. I have friends who care - both offline and on. And I have you, the people who stop by and read my drivel.

So when your slaving over your novel, when you feel like dying cause the pressure is too much turn to your support system. They won't let you down and they may surprise you by cheering you in the most unexpected ways. (I mean, who enjoys being called crazy?)

Who do you turn to?

All I want is everything

Today I carved pumpkins. It was so much fun I wanted to be a sculptor.

In a creative mood but unwilling to start the paintings for my sister's Christmas present, I went to the craft store. There, I varied between wanting to design T-Shirts, make jewelry and decorate cakes.

When I got back home, I hung out with my friend Ramona and, bored, I decided to do her makeup. I wanted to be a makeup artist and do this: (Makeup inspired by the Cheshire Cat)

And this: (Strawberry and leaves)

Everyday. 

This is everything I wanted to be - today. 

Sometimes, I want to be everything.

And you know what? That's what I love about storytelling and writing, it can take me places and live lives I never could have on my own. I can be anything my imagination conjures. If it doesn't work out, I can set that life aside for a rainy day and move on to the next. 

No strings. No years of schooling. Nothing to hold me back except the limitations I set upon myself. 

Now that, my friends, is freedom. 

What's one thing you love about writing? Your passion? Ever have any wild dreams besides being a writer/whatever you are now?

Organic Means It's Better For You!

Mom threw her back out (by sneezing!) and was in a lot of pain so I suggested she not go to work. Unfortunately she's already used all her sick days this year and if she used another, she'd lose pay.

I remembered something she'd said before, that she still had family sick days left. (Meaning she can take time off to care for my sister and I.) I used logic and since she won't lie (she teaches me good ethics though considering I want to make stories up for a living, which is basically glorified lying, I'm not sure it's working) I explained what I thought she should do: take a family sick day because if you lose pay it'll negatively affect your family, so if you say you need a family sick day your actually being entirely honest.

Mom didn't say anything for a moment and then replied, "You are devious."

She didn't take me up on my logic but she certainly made me think. To me, my statement seemed logical, a way to navigate the situation to keep the words truthful but still get what I want/what's best for my mom. To her, it was devious.

Now I'm not going to claim that I'm completely unaware of my own cunning nature but it really isn't something I think about.

Our characters don't either.

They can be aware of their own personality traits and major flaws but it can still sneak up on them. They can still be surprised when something that makes perfect sense to them seems wrong or strange to others - this makes for some great organic conflict between characters.

Their own flaws and nature can also be used to naturally land them in unsavory situations that they'll have to slog to get out of. For example, my main character can be insatiably curious when she wants answers, she'll do whatever she can do get them, even if she knows it could get her killed. (Yeah, I don't think it's that brilliant either.) But she's not thinking about how curious she is and how badly she wants those answers because of that, to her, it's logic - she wants to understand what's happening and the best way to do that is to press any advantage she can find.

To our characters, all of their actions are logical - even the seemingly illogical ones. They may confound others but to them they are only doing what makes sense. And events that unfold organically because of our characters are so much more fun than blatant, glaring plot devices.

Are you using your characters traits, good and bad, to their full advantage? Any thoughts?

Also, do you love my title or what? Personally, I think it's a stroke of genius.

Surprises

I read a book the other week and it's been haunting me ever since. Not in the can't-get-it-out-it-was-so-great kind of way, either. No, it was more something the author did.

Halfway through the book after the MC makes a terrible mistake (almost killing the boy she's in love with) she starts talking about her supernatural abilities, how all the popular kids at school and her parents are like her too. She explains everything and her abilities become a natural part of her thought process for the second half.

I think the author was going for suspense and intrigue, a sort of mystery of why the school was so strange. But the entire first half I was wondering if the MC could seriously be that oblivious. Then surprise she isn't an idiot she's just kept her thoughts empty of the situation so the reader wouldn't know what was happening.

Seriously, what the hell?

If you're writing a first person novel and there's something huge like: I'm a fairy; I'm a wizard; I'm a werewolf (you get the idea) how can the MC never think about it?

I felt like I'd been cheated. Like, the author couldn't create real suspense on her own without her cheap manipulation of the MC's thoughts.

There's a difference between shocking your reader but offering them chances to figure it out through subtle hints and foreshadowing and intentionally lying to them in order to shock them. At least, I think there is.

So I'm curious, how much surprise do you think is okay? Where do you draw the line when keeping facts to create suspense? As a reader, as a writer?

Themes and Glee!

 So over the weekend my friend had a Glee themed birthday party. 


At first, I was... reluctant. 


I didn't want to dress up. I wasn't feeling the theme. To be brutally honest, I thought the whole idea was stupid. So to spite the whole thing, I figured: why don't I make my own theme?


I planned it all, I would wear a skirt and white blouse, pin my slytherin crest on, wear my tie lanyard and finish the look with my scarf. My excuse? Glee could totally have a Hogwarts episode. They'd sing about cauldrons and witchcraft and Wingardium Leviosa-ing themselves on a magic carpet ride through the sky with the love of their life (after they'd glamored themselves to be a prince).


And then I stopped being a jerk (even though I still somewhat liked my idea). In the end, I went all out. 


Once I started, I actually had a lot of fun putting together the costume and getting ready. 


I went as Tina. 

The idea of the theme freaked me out, I guess, but sucking it up and doing it was actually a really enjoyable experience. (Also, I got a red velvet cupcake at the party so any and all pain of trying to figure out how to make my fishnets a shirt was totally forgiven.) 


It's the same with writing though. When I think, actually think, about the themes that are entwined with the core ideas of my book I don't think I can pull it off. I mean, there's just so many: family, love, friendship, betrayal, hate, believing in yourself, death... The list is longer and is more specific but I can't really explain any of it without ruining the book. 


Sometimes, I get so worked up with thinking about what I'm trying to achieve that I don't do anything. It's too big and too much and I can't possibly pull everything together into a seamless whole, into something I can be proud of. 


But, I'm trying to think of it like my costume. If I just sit down and write and stop thinking about what I'm trying to do, it'll be a lot funner then I gave it credit for.


And who knows, maybe I'll even surprise myself with how awesome it turns out. (I can dream.)


Are there any themes in your writing? Do you plan them or do they just happen?

Not A Tease

I know that today I’m supposed to offer all you wonderful people a glimpse at another character.

(You know what’s about to happen, don’t you? Another dreaded excuse...you have to admit though, I’m very convincing. Right?)

The problem with showing you a glimpse at a character today is that over my technology hiatus I poured over my hundred pages of dialogue reminders (little snippets of conversation to spark my memory for scenes for the trilogy I have planned) as well as the thirteen chapters I had in past tense and the three in present.

Actually there are two problems. The first: after looking over everything, I decided I needed to start from scratch – I didn’t start in the right place and I could condense chapters 1-4 into two chapters and it would be SO much more exciting. Problem two actually played a large role in deciding to execute problem one.

Remember Hunter? Well, that lovely, charming, crooked nose, black-haired boy decided to throw a giant wrench in my plot. For a moment I wanted to kill him viciously. I’d drag out the torment, prolong his suffering and laugh like the evilest of villains.

Then, I saw it. The light. The magnificent thing he’d just done for the story.

He upped the stakes, condensed events and made everything that much more complicated and murky. Rorys choices are going to be harder to make, the aftermath harsher, and make the reader’s interest increase (well, I’m hoping anyway).

He basically offered me a tool to make Rory’s everything worse, which, since readers are really just voyeurs rooting for the heroine/hero to valiantly (or not so valiantly) traverse the mess their life has become is great. The worse it is, the harder they have to try and the more frantic the reader is because what will they do!?

So maybe now I want to smother Hunter with kisses and grant him all his dreams. Theoretically anyway, I am a cruel author and things aren’t that easy in the world I’ve created. But, if I could I would.

I’m starting all over and I’m happy about it. Unfortunately, while I can integrate old stuff with new (because things are essentially the same) everything is a bit of a mess at the moment.

Next week, promise, I’ll have something to share.

Do your characters surprise you? Do they ever do something totally unexpected and throw you, the author, into the line of fire for once?

---

Guys your following me (I’m assuming) because you have a vague interest in what I have to say. Well, today I have some advice for you, do yourself a favour and check out Erica’s blog. Her posts are interesting, she’s funny, sweet and one of my favourite bloggers out there! If all of that weren’t enough she’s starting a beta service on her blog (and we could all benefit from her keen eye!) and having an awesome contest.


So go, check it out, click here! and don't forget to tell her that I sent you, so I get extra points. 

What Obligations?

Final projects are finished. Exams (for better or worse) are over. I’m done school – for a week and a half anyway. Maybe I’ll even get in a bit of decent sleep (a girl can dream, can’t she?).

I’m exploding with anticipation and anxiety because I’m finally going to get a chance to write. You see, I’ve made no significant progress on my MS since, well, I can’t even tell you it was so long ago. If you knew, you’d accuse me of neglect and the Book Union would revolt and probably take my MS away from me; they’d give it to someone who deserved it. And then I’d cry.

I digress.

I’ve blocked off 8 days: refused all offers to “chill,” ignored desperate pleas from the Best Friend, informed my mother of my impending retreat to The Cave (aka as my room), and am shutting off my phone entirely.

You can see what’s coming can’t you?

My internet is being cut as well.

I won’t apologize because this is something I need to do for me. For my characters. For my emotional stability. For my sanity. It needs to happen. And if I allow myself any procrastination outlets I won’t get anything done because the anxiety I mentioned will create a vortex of self-doubt and I’ll spiral out of control only to burst like a supernova.

Not really, but you get it, right?

My return to all social and educational obligations is tentatively scheduled for July 5. However, that is when school starts up again so I may not be around...

Who am I kidding?

I’ll probably be dying to read your blogs and tell everyone of my amazing progress (crosses fingers).

I can go to school all day and retreat into the world of the inter-web all night. Oh the perks of being an insomniac are endless.

What sacrifices have you made for your writing lately?

Dogs Find Things and Prove We Don't See Everything

The setting sun makes gold light dapple the leaves over my head, red berries glisten to my right, and the inlet stretches to my left. The path slicing through the forest is downtrodden but nearly silent. I sidestep the patches of mud from last night’s rain and the roots that push their way above ground.

I think I’m observing the scene fairly well. Leave it to my dog to prove me wrong.

My dog Tye stops suddenly to examine something on the ground. I try to urge him forward because the smallest scents attract a dog’s attention and, really, what do I care? Why should it matter to me what my dog finds interesting? I’m being thoughtful and fulfilling my duties of ownership by taking him on a walk.

He refuses to come so I’m forced to see what he’s so interested in (though I have yet to care he’s interested in anything at all).

Then I see the dead bird, its beak agape in some sort of horrified rictus.

I push my dog away only to prod the creature lightly with a stick myself. I know it is dead, heck, it looks like it has no insides at all and the black feathers are slick and clumpy, I just can’t help it.

I’m morbidly fascinated.

I call my friend (who also missed the carcass) over to look. She bemoans my cruelty, wishing I never called her over and tries to make me leave. I’m harder to get moving than my dog was.

The sequence of events makes me think of my manuscript for the remainder of our walk. I just can’t get the bird out of my head, or the fact that my writerly powers of observation failed me.

It makes me realize something. I’m probably not finding the, perhaps slightly hidden, dead things in my story. Not the dead characters. Not the dead plots. Not the dead words.

I think I’m catching everything; I’m looking everywhere but I’m much too close to the work to catch the lifeless pieces bringing my story down. My friend probably won’t notice either – she looks at the writing like it’s my book, she has background info on my characters (stuff a random reader wouldn’t be privileged too), and she’s as lost in the atmosphere as I am.

I need a dog; someone with a nose to sniff out all the problems, who is objective and unbiased enough to not overlook the small things for my sake. Because let’s face it simply praising our work does us no favors. It won’t get us to publication.

The only thing that will is brutal honesty. I need someone who isn’t afraid to get a little dirty, to be morbid and blatantly point out the dead stuff in my writing.

Again, I say it, I need a dog.

I should care because it’s my soul in a book and every soul has flaws. I should care because I want my book to reach its potential. I should care because I can only improve. I should care because it isn't enough to just do our writerly duties.

I should care because it matters.

I care.

Do you? 

Is there a ‘dog’ in your life who helps you find the dead stuff? 

Word Of The Day: Wikiphobia - fear of wikipedia, fear of the ability to allow anyone to edit things.

Too Much Information

At first, I think it’s the textbooks. University professors only pick the books which contain nothing but useful, relevant information – nearly every sentence needs highlighting.

This systematic highlighting makes categorizing information in a concise and cohesive matter nigh impossible. Which, in turn, makes the construction of study notes an even more complicated task. Copying an entire textbook seems like way too much effort for a test worth 30% of your grade.

It’s, quite simply, too much.

Not even a herculean will could accomplish this feat within the boundaries of the allotted time. Well, unless the individual possessing this herculean will decides to forego sleep and all extracurricular pursuits entirely. (Warning: this will result in the death of said person).

Since I’m unwilling to sacrifice myself, I turn into a swirling miasma of frustration, anger, and doubt.

When it becomes too much (as these things inevitably do) I complain to other students in my class. They show me their textbooks. I’m amazed that some pages have maybe one sentence highlighted.

I demand an explanation.

After a few slightly flabbergasting and tedious conversations, I come to a horrible conclusion: the problem isn’t the textbooks, the problem (unfortunately, and I do hate to admit this) is me.

I’m far too detail oriented.

To me, everything is important. Every date, name, circumstance (essentially word) contributes to the bigger picture. The only way to fully understand is to know every single statement backwards and forwards. The only way to get others to understand is to give them every single piece of information that I deem relevant to the situation (which, is unfortunately, nearly everything that comes to my mind when a subject arises).

I live my life through the details.

 I watch people, every minute movement is important to understanding their motivations; if their motivations can be discerned, I can, generally, predict the outcome of most situations. It’s no different when I read. I try to predict the outcome of the book by analyzing the small details, the little things (it’s actually a lot of fun, especially when my predictions are right – which they always are...save for a few notable exceptions).

In life, it’s easy for me to take the details and apply them to the bigger picture.

In courses, it’s harder. I end up wasting my time on small things that don’t need my focus.

And, through this realization, I’ve concluded that I do the same in my writing.

I don’t want people to misinterpret my characters, to see them as something they aren’t. So, I focus on things that don’t need that much attention, I waste my time on what are (in the grand scheme of things) inconsequential matters. It's true that every detail works towards creating the bigger picture, but all of the details I feel are necessary, are (apparently) not; the picture can be created with fewer broad strokes, instead of an abundance of tiny ones.

It’s difficult to do anything about this however, because to me, it’s all so important, it's all crucial information. I like looking at the smaller, intricate pieces weaving together. I find it so much more interesting. And, I feel as though I’m detracting from the story if I take these details away.

Plus, it’s not like being detail-oriented is all bad.  It helps with the continuity of my work, helps with characterization, and helps with setting.

Details are an important part of writing, without enough detail, you’ll lose your reader, they won’t be able to ground themselves in your story and your words will fall flat.

Too much detail, on the other hand, and you drown your reader in so much unnecessary information that they become confused and frustrated. In this scenario, they still put your book down.

There has to be a balance, you need the perfect amount of detail. This is very hard (especially when my mind keeps screaming – it’s not enough!!).

...

I have yet to come to any sort of resolution to this problem. When I do, I’ll let you know. All I know right now is that I need to start somewhere.

I’m sure my battle with my textbooks and my own manuscript - to restrain my need for an obscene amount of detail - will be a bloody one. I’m readying myself with plenty of weaponry and protective gear. I think I’ll start with a nuclear bomb – it’s really the only way to start, as nothing else is drastic enough.

Word Of The Day: Nimiety - excess; overabundance.

Courage and my Lack Thereof

Courage fills me to the brim, until I seal away my entry in an oversized envelope. It feels like I’ve just sectioned off a piece of my soul.

Courage doesn’t leave entirely until the stamps are on and the lady at the post office takes my entry from me and I turn and walk away.

“Do you think I can go take my letter back?” I ask, pulling at the sleeve of my shirt, after we’ve rounded the corner of the post office.

“No. Once you hand mail over to Canada post it becomes their property. You can’t get it back.”

My stomach twists and for a good five minutes I’m horrified by what I’ve done. My mom keeps talking but I’m not listening to her. By the time we walk back to the car reason has overpowered the fear.

I realize it doesn’t matter if I win this competition I entered. It doesn’t matter what they say about the writing I submitted (even if they toss it in the garbage).  Because win or lose I gave it a shot.

 And if I want to be a writer I’m going to have to put myself out there someday.

So why not start today?

Word Of The Day: Ascian - one that has no shadow; specifically: an inhabitant of the torrid zone where the sun is vertical at noon twice a year.

****I recognize this post is short. Shortest yet (and who knows, some of you may appreciate this fact) and I haven't met my quota for this week either. I tried to write this post and another post sooner but I have a one track mind at the moment. And I don't want to post about it (this life-altering event) until everything is settled down. At the moment I am working out the kinks. Everything will be finialized soon though, as things are time-sensitive, and then I will tell you, and be able to exorcise it and thus, write about other things.

Better Writer = Horrible Reader

(This image is from here)

As my writing improves – through reading blogs and books on improving the craft – I’m becoming a horrible reader. (In the sense that I am left completely unsatisfied).

I notice the smallest thing and it throws me from the story. Now, that’s not to say I never noticed these things before. It’s just, before, they were much easier to ignore. I could get past some odd pacing or an odd turn of phrase; slightly off characterizations and too much (or too little) description wasn’t that hard to accept and move past. Now these things glare at me, among other, more nitpicky things.

It’s driving me crazy.

I’m on my (week-long) summer break and want to absorb several of the books on my too read list. Books I was super excited for.

The first book I sat down with, within pages I was like really? This book is popular? The pacing is weird, there are odd sentences and the characters feel fake. I ploughed through, regardless. In retrospect, this was mostly out of sheer stupidity.

The entire time I was shaking my head, baffled over how this book survived the editing process; baffled by how this book is so popular; baffled in general. The book itself is irrelevant, the author slaved over these pages and their effort is commendable. I respect them and their effort. I just can’t enjoy it.

I picked up another book, hoping it would be better. It wasn’t as bad, but still, there were so many things that bothered me. Things that interrupt the story, disrupt the flow, and put the brakes on my enjoyment.

Reading is harder now. Enjoyable reading, that is. Every little thing nags at me and I just want to yell at anyone for it not being right.

And then I feel awful.

Because I know how ridiculously hard it is to catch flaws in your own work (I’m notoriously terrible at this). I know how hard writing is, and can be. How much of a writer goes into their creations.

I feel like, I - by disliking these books so much - am judging the writer without even knowing them. That I am being unfair in my assessment. And then I think, how would I feel, if someone felt this way about my work?

And then I realize: I can’t help it if I don’t like something. But I’m so nitpicky now, and it’s destroying my reading experience. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve fallen into an unrepentant cyclical train of thought on this matter.

Maybe these two books really aren’t that great or maybe finding books I can actually enjoy (without being tossed from the novel over mistakes) is becoming near impossible. I just don’t know and can’t break the pattern.

Does anyone have any suggestions (either on how to deal with this issue or good books)? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Word Of The Day: Hoi Polloi - the common people; the masses.

Take A Walk

(Photo taken from here: this guy has some really awesome pictures)

In a car, you are nothing more than a passive observer. You’re so used to it you no longer notice. Everything is moving around you boringly through a frame, through the car window, it’s all just more television.

When you walk the frame is gone. You’re there. You’re in the scene, no longer simply watching, and the sense of presence is addicting.

The reaffirming concrete beneath your soles is real. You’re lost among the chaos of the sleepless action. The world around you changes. The change is tangible; you see it in the mismatched trees as one color devours the next. If you’d like, you can reach out and touch the leaves – you can feel the red and yellow bleed into the green.

Do you feel it?

Instead of listening to your playlist like background noise you can listen to the symphony of the street. The unique chorus of people going about their lives, of nature competing with the city for dominance: the music that’s all around us we choose to ignore in favour of this week’s Top Twenty.

Do you hear it?

The whole experience is never removed from your immediate consciousness. You’re aware. Someone is watching you; you’re the actor people wish they were or were with. You’re the one living, no longer passively going about your day. You’re alive.

Do you want it?