Mom and I went to the liquor store (because where else do you go on the weekend (I don't care that I sound like an alcoholic, I know I'm not. I just appreciate a good drink after a long week of writing.)) and the grocery store.
We go back to the car only to realize we parked in a Reserved parking space for Rogers (a video store) customers only.
Mom was all, it's a good thing no one noticed we didn't go in the store.
And I immediately replied, "It doesn't matter, I'm a Rogers customer twenty four seven. If they try and say otherwise, I'll show them my phone bill." (Rogers is also a phone company.)
Mom laughs, clearly amazed by my unstoppable wit and genius (and modesty).
"Don't even worry mom, I build worlds, I think I can find my way out of anything now."
Now, normally I'd segue into some helpful writing advice like: the tools we learn and use in our writing can be beneficially applied to our lives. Through journeying with our characters, we learn their lessons and in turn, become stronger characters ourselves.
But, I don't want to elaborate on that.
You see, I've been writing some pretty horrific stuff. It was brief but the taint of it lingers on my MC, saturates her as she goes into the final three chapters of my book. It's all a jumbled mess in her head.
Which means, unfortunately, it (I wish I could explain but it would ruin my book!) is haunting me as well. I feel sick and unsteady and like my world could crumble if I take one misstep.
I can't sleep because horrific events and scenes loop in my mind, unforgiving and terrifying.
And I need to know,
Do you ever write something that horrifies you? Something so terrible you can't believe you thought of it? Do you ever make yourself sick because of events in your book?
Maybe, when people read it, they won't react like I have. I don't expect them too. My characters are a part of me, they mean more to me then I can possibly express, and they gave me hope when I had none (that's another blog post entirely) and I have a hard time knowing that my subconscious is so cruel to them in return.
I'd like to think I'm not alone.
Hope NaNo (or your other endeavors) is going well for you guys. I'm done! Except not because November was less about winning NaNo and more about finishing my book. But I'm close to that too.